


That bloody TV show

by Bookworm29



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-01 01:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11475525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm29/pseuds/Bookworm29
Summary: Jamie hates that TV show.Claire kinda likes it.Gillian is having a fancy dress party.Can you guess what's going to happen?





	1. Chapter 1

“Claire, I’m home”

He kicked the door shut behind him, threw his keys on the table and toed off his shoes. 

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and spotted the mail on the kitchen counter. There were bills and junk mail, a pizza menu (god he wanted pizza) but there, what’s that? Is that…Who sends printed invitations anymore? 

As he read it, a small grin made its way onto his face, he was almost laughing by the time Claire found him.

“And what are you laughing at soldier?” She asked, kissing his shoulder as she passed. “Is that the invitation from Gillian and Duncan?”

“Aye, how on earth did she convince him to have a fancy dress birthday party?” He dropped the invitation on the counter and pulled her to his side.

“I don’t even want to guess, but I have the best idea for a couples costume for us.” She said as took their beers and placed them next to the invite. 

She moved his arms around her waist and draped hers around his neck. On her tip toes, she nuzzled into neck, she sighed happily, “Jamie….”

He grinned and hugged her tighter to his chest, leaning back against the fridge he asked, “Yes my love? What is it I can do for you?”

She looked up at him with those amber eyes and a happy smile on her face, then slowly tugged his lips towards hers whispering, “We’re doing Outlander.” Then she kissed him.

Or at least she tried to. 

As soon as he heard that word he froze. He took her wrists in his hands, pulled his head away and pushed her one step back. 

“No.” Then grabbed his beer and walked out the room.

“Oh it’s not that bad Jamie! I mean we even have the same names as them, it’s perfect!”

She followed him out the room trying to convince him, but there was no way he was doing it.  
Ever since that bloody show started, all he’d heard from the guys at work, his godfather, even his own sister was ‘Ooh, Jamie where’s your kilt?’, ‘Ooh Jamie, do ye ken how to do it now?’ and ‘Beggin your pardon my Lord Broch Tuarach’. He was fed up of it, stupid show using their names. He couldn’t even speak Gaelic.

“No Claire, you know what I’ve been dealing with since that show started, I will not dress up as him. You cannae make me.” He refused as he slumped on the sofa with his beer and turned on the TV, conversation finished.

Or so he thought.

She frowned at the back of his head, frantically thinking how to make it happen. Going as Claire and Jamie Fraser would be perfect – He had missed his last haircut so his gorgeous red hair would look the part by the time the party rolled round, she was a dab hand with a needle, so she could whip up a kilt in no time, plus, she had already ordered the tartan. 

“Come on Jamie” She crooned, she walked up behind him and hugged him around his shoulders, “Please, for me?” She kissed his cheek, “You know I’ve watched the show right?” 

His head jerked away as he turned to her, “It was on the other night while you were out with Will, and I wanted to see what the fuss was about.” He frowned at her and looked away, “Now don’t look like that, it’s really not as bad as you think. You know Claire and Jamie are the main characters right? Claire is an English woman sent back in time, and Jamie is the rugged, Scottish highlander who saves her from the nasty British army man.”

She could tell he was a little interested, “There’s loads of sex too.” His eyebrows shot up, “You get to see Claire’s boobies.” He chuckled at this, “It’s really not that bad. Jamie is the most attractive man in the show, the most heroic, has the nicest bum.” She nibbled on his earlobe, “Hmm, sounds like someone I know…”

She shrieked as he hauled her over the back of the sofa and pulled her on top of him. 

“You been looking at another man’s arse, woman?” He growled as he pressed his face into her neck and hugged her to him. She giggled, “You’ll look at no arse but mine. Clearly I need to get this man out your mind.” He sighed and pulled back to look at her. “Fine, I’ll do it,” She squealed and hugged him tight. “But no going overboard. No frills, no makeup, the simplest costume you can make.” 

She hummed in agreement, “No problem, I know exactly what to do.” 

He grunted, “Hmm, you owe me woman.” He tilted his head to the side as she started kissing his neck, “You're buying me a pizza.” He muttered as she straddled his waist and kissed along his jaw to his earlobe, “A big pizza, huge, all for me.” He reached up and grasped the back of her neck to bring her lips to his.

“You got it babe” She whispered as they finally kissed, “Leave it all to me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire finished the costume and it's partay time.

Chapter 2

He wondered if he’d made a mistake agreeing to this costume malarkey. Claire was getting far too into it; she’d ordered actual tartan for goodness sake!

And he’d barely seen her. Apart from dinnertime when they ate together, she was off in the bedroom, fingers permanently attached to a needle and thread.

She wouldn’t let him see what she was doing either. Every time he poked his head around the doorframe, she screeched at him and hid whatever it was she was doing behind a pillow. How extravagant must this costume be that she’s taking so long on it? He told her no bloody frills.

Ugh, he was bored!

Duncan had been roped into helping organise the party, so Adam and Ryan were helping too. Will had gotten himself a new girlfriend so it was like he wasn’t even there anymore and now his godfather had bloody disappeared too.

He slumped on his sofa with a beer in one hand and the remote in another, listlessly flicking through the channels. Why is there never anything on the telly?

 

******

 

Someone screamed.

“Ah, whut?” He jolted up, half asleep, trying to found out what was going on.

Looking around he saw nothing amiss, even his beer was still upright, he took a sip, if not a wee bit flat.

“Claire, are ye alright lass?” He shouted as he walked to the bedroom door. He heard a mad rustling, hurried footsteps, and muttering before she opened the door a crack to look at him.

“Oh, hey” She looked flustered, “I’m fine, just stabbed myself with a needle adding the final touches to your costume. You ok?” She asked, desperately trying to hide the bedroom from his prying eyes.

“Oh aye,” He said, trying to see the dreaded outfit over her head, “Are ye nearly done? It’s getting quite late and the telly is rubbish. I want to get my book; it’s on the bedside table in there.” He pointed over her head.

“Oh.” She exclaimed, before slamming the door shut in his face.

“What? Cheeky woman, slamming the door of my own bedroom in my face…” he turned and started walking away muttering to himself. He’d had nearly enough of this; thank god the party was this weekend!  
The door behind him opened, and Claire walked towards him, his book in hand.

“Here you go babe. Sorry I’ve been so crazy, but I think I’m nearly finished!” She handed him the book with a kiss and moved with him into the kitchen. “How about we go out for dinner tomorrow to celebrate? That French place opened up down the road, it smells amazing every time I walk…”

He turned to look at her from the fridge. She had walked back into to the living room with her own beer in her hand when she froze. A small smile made its way onto her face.

“…Are you…” She took a deep breath, “…is that…are you watching Outlander?” She asked turning to smirk at him.

His mouth dropped open.

“The TV,” She pointed with her beer, “That’s Outlander. It’s the episode where they decide to marry Claire to Jamie to save her from Black Jack Randall.”

He had no words. Genuinely nothing was coming out his mouth. It was just opening and closing like a fish as he stared at the Telly.

She smirked at him and took a swig of her beer. “It’s ok; I won’t tell any of the lads.” She laughed and walked back into their room.

“No…Claire…” Now his brain caught up with him as he stuttered after her. He could still hear her chuckling to herself through the door, “Oh god, I wasnae watching it…I just fell asleep...”

He dropped onto the sofa, and placed his book on the table. Stupid show invading his house, well not anymore. He grabbed the remote and starting angrily clicking through the TV Guide searching for something to watch…anything…even a talent show...ugh, nothing but news. He closed the guide and there was Jamie Fraser’s stupid face staring at him from his 37-inch flat screen TV.

He just didn’t get it.

Why were all these women obsessed over him?

He’s not even that…Oh God, look at his back, that’s horrible, all that blood…whoa, whoa, whoa sweet child of mine. Who is that beauty?

Look at her hair.

Look at that face.

Look at her sm…what the fuck?

Why was that redcoat bastard beating her up?

No, no young lad, don’t help him beat up that lovely lass, what are ye doing?

Why is no one helping? Come on, can’t ye hear her shouting…yes! You Scottish bastard get in there and stop them! Run Forrest, run!

 

******

 

Claire walked into the living room a few hours later, finally she’d finished. Her poor fingers couldn’t take any more stabbing and she’d lost her last thimble. But Jamie’s outfit was done. Her’s too. They were going to look AWESOME!

She froze in the doorway not quite understanding what was going on in her living room.

“Jamie, what are you doing?”

His head whipped towards her as he grabbed the remote, freezing the screen on Outlander Jamie and Claire getting it on, on their bedroom floor. He looked between her and the TV several times before he jumped up and put his hands out in a calming gesture.

“It’s no’ what you think Claire.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him as she sauntered past, “Really? It looks like you’re voluntarily watching Outlander and eating Chinese take away…” She sat on the sofa and grabbed a Chinese container from the table, “…that you ordered without me?” She started eating.

“Well…Ye see…” He stammered, “It’s a…It’s research!” He shouted. “Yes, yes it's research, ye ken, so I can fully embody the character of Jamie Fraser. If I’m to be him, I’ll damn well be him.” He nodded his head as if that answered that.

She sniggered into the left over chow mein.

“Ok, I believe you.” She pointed to the bedroom, “But I’m all done in there if you want to come to bed now?” She saw his eyes flit to the screen, “Or you can tidy up and come in when you’re ready?” He seemed to relax a bit at that and agreed as she made her way to the bedroom. “See you in a bit then?”

“Uh huh,” He murmured as he sat back down and pressed play. “Good night my love.”

 

*****

 

The party was in full swing when they arrived, and Gillian had gone all out! Disco lights, a DJ, enough food to feed an army, all topped off with a happy 30th birthday banner. So that’s what age she was telling everyone nowadays.

He’ll never admit it, but he’s secretly pleased when they walk in and a few people do double takes.

Never mind all the Harry Potters, the Joker’s and Harley Quinn’s, or the Edward’s and Bella’s, Claire and him made a mighty fine Fraser couple.

He was decked out in his shirt stained grey with mud and blood spatter, ripped open across his chest. His kilt folded in the traditional way with his dirk and sporran tucked to one side. His hair long and curly, yes, he looked grand.

And Claire, well she blew every other woman out the water. Her hair wild about her shoulders, her tartan wrap cinched in around her tiny waist with a brown belt. She looked as if she just stepped in from the 1700’s.

Yes, Claire had done an amazing job. He just turned to congratulate and thank her when he caught sight of Gillian and Duncan across the room…dressed as the Fraser’s.

Claire looked up at him, saw his stony face and looked to see what had made him so angry.

“Gillian!” She stormed across the room, “What are you doing? I told you we were coming dressed as the Fraser’s, why would you do the same?”

“Well I dinnae think you’d actually convince him to do it! Everyone kens how he hates it.” Gillian nodded at Jamie behind her and then a slow smile spread across her face, “Although I never thought you’d get it so accurate.” She gave him an appraising look, “Why Jamie, I almost cannae tell the difference. Have ye seen young Freddy around here anywhere? I think he came dressed as a redcoat, we could get a cracking picture.” She looked around as she asked Claire, “Did you see the finale of Season One? Isn’t Black Jack a bastard?”

“Oh absolutely, Randall got what was coming to him.” Jamie answered.

“You’ve changed your tune haven’t ye Jamie?” She looked shocked, but pleased nonetheless to have someone to fan girl with.

“Oh aye and I tell ye, if it were me I’d have taken that brand and…”

Claire turned and walked away as they got into a full on debate about Jack Randall and Jamie Fraser’s relationship. Sure, she was a fan, but Jamie had gone off the deep end a bit. He binged the whole first season in two days!

Oh well, never mind.

 

*****

 

She was on her third drink and was in the middle of a rather interesting debate with her friend Ray about the benefits of holistic medicine against traditional when Jamie marched up to her with a face of fury.

He grabbed her arm and growled, “We’re leaving.”

“Oh, bye Ray.” She shouted as she was almost manhandled out the door, “Jamie let go of me. Now, what’s wrong?” She pulled his face to hers once they were on the street.

He wouldn’t look at her, he was furious, what could have happened?

“Jamie…?”

“She spoiled it.” He grunted.

“What?”

“She knew I haven’t fully caught up yet and she told me anyway.”

“Jamie, I don’t understand.”

“That woman has seen Season Two and told me that Black Jack Randall was still alive!” He angrily pointed at the door behind him and turned to face the road, crossing his muscled arms across his chest. “She spoilt it!”

For goodness sake, she thought. This bloody TV programme, what have I created?

“Oh Jamie, I’m sorry, I thought you knew Season Two was out?” She hugged his back, her hands over his lovely firm belly stroking a bit. Hmmm he’s so fit. How much had she had to drink again?

“Well I dinnae, and now she’s ruined it. I won’t go back in there.” His stomach growled against her hands, “Nope, not even for food.”

She smothered her smile as she ducked around to see his face. He had the most adorable pout on his luscious lips, his big bottom lip sticking out, eyebrows all furrowed. Hmmm, so adorable.

“That’s fine; we can just go home then?” She wrapped her arms around his neck, “Get into our jammie’s, order a pizza, catch up on Season Two…and then find a way to ruin Season Three for her?” His face relaxed and he started to nod, “Or…” He froze looking at her with a cocked eyebrow.

“Or…?” He questioned with a smile at the corner of his entirely kissable lips.

She leaned up, albeit wobbly, on her tippy toes and whispered as close to his ear as she could, “Or we could go home and you could show me how authentic you went by giving me a peek at what’s under your kilt?”

He turned to face her, rubbing her nose with his, “Well Sassenach,” he drawled, beefing up his Scottish brogue, “You know I like to be true to character.”

He kissed her then and they quite forgot why he was so mad in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my little plot bunny :)

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter - Jamie tries on his outfit


End file.
